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Let’s talk about tough times.
We all go through them, right? Maybe it’s a political or global issue, divorce, losing or changing a job, or just one of those weeks (or months) when everything feels heavy. Life throws curveballs, and while we can’t control them, we can control how we respond. But what happens when those tough moments spark old disordered eating behaviors? How do we resist the pull when that seems like the easiest—or maybe the only—way to cope?
The sneaky allure of control
When life feels out of control, it’s tempting to grasp onto something that “feels” manageable. For those of us who’ve wrestled with disordered eating, controlling food or our bodies might seem like a familiar (though false) safety net. But here’s the truth: it’s not really about the food, how your clothes fit, or the number on the scale. It’s about seeking control in chaos. And while it might bring short-term relief, we know deep down it leads to long-term pain.
What can we do instead?
First, normalize the struggle. It’s okay to feel like you’re spiraling. It doesn’t make you weak, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Tough times can stir up familiar thoughts and behaviors, but it’s possible to navigate them without falling back into old patterns. Here are a few tools that can help:
1. Name the feeling
Sometimes, the hardest part is just sitting with what we’re feeling. Try naming it: “I’m feeling overwhelmed,” or “I’m scared about what’s next.” When you name your emotions, you take away some of their power. You are not the feeling—you’re simply experiencing it.
2. Lean on your people
Tough times are not meant to be faced alone. Reach out to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, therapist, or support group. You don’t have to have all the answers or even know what to say. Sometimes, just hearing another voice or sharing your thoughts can ease the burden.
3. Create a go-to coping toolbox
Think of it like a first-aid kit for your emotions. What helps you feel grounded when things get rough? It could be journaling, taking a walk, listening to your favorite music or podcast, or watching a comforting show. Having a list of accessible coping strategies ready to go can make a big difference when you’re tempted to turn to problematic behaviors.
4. Practice self-compassion
This one is huge. Tough times can bring out our inner critic—telling us we’re not strong enough or that we’ve failed because we’re struggling. Counter those thoughts with kindness. Remind yourself that you’re human, and humans go through hard things. It’s about progress, not perfection. You just work to keep showing up.
Remember: You’ve got this
When you’re in the thick of it, it might feel like the storm will never end. But tough times do pass. And every time you choose to cope without turning to disordered eating, you’re building the resilience muscle. You’re proving to yourself that you can weather the storm.
You’ve fought hard to get where you are, and you don’t have to fight alone. If you find yourself struggling, reach out. Whether it’s to a friend, a support group, or a professional, there’s strength in connection. You are worth the effort it takes to stay on the recovery path, even when life gets messy.
Tough times don’t last, but the strength you build along the way does. Keep going. You’re stronger than you think.