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We have thousands of thoughts each day. One research study found more than 6,000, and I’ve heard other claims of up to 90,000. Many of these are the same thoughts we had yesterday, and many are negative.
We think we can work through a problem by worrying, but we’re usually just ruminating—going over something again and again and again. It’s a normal response to anxiety and stress, but it’s not very productive. Whether the stress is related to relationships, upcoming trips or events, or something to do with our health, it’s more effective to look specifically at the problem behind the feelings.
Worrying may feel purposeful and even constructive, but if you’re only repeating the same thoughts and not getting to any solutions, you’ll stay stuck.
To break the cycle, pause, get centered, and notice:
- What are you thinking?
- What are you feeling in your body as you think these things?
- Are these thoughts helpful?
- Will these thoughts matter in an hour from now, tomorrow, in a month, or in a year?
Rather than holding us hostage, by observing thoughts from a distance we can get a new perspective on them. For example:
- Remember that feelings and thoughts are not facts.
- Cultivate a growth mindset about your situation and what might be coming in the future.
- Be kind to yourself and validate your thoughts and feelings, instead of trying to snap yourself out of them.
So the next time you find yourself caught in a loop of repetitive thoughts, take a moment to pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to let go of unproductive rumination.