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As a therapist, I’ve learned a lot about the nuances of routine, structure, and rituals when it comes to recovery from food and body image issues. It’s a topic that comes up often with my clients, and it’s something I’ve had to navigate in my own life as well.
Let me start by differentiating these three concepts:
1. Routine provides a sense of stability—the comfort of knowing that certain things will happen at certain times. For example:
- Having breakfast at 8:30, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 6
- This predictability can be very grounding, especially when you’re going through a difficult period
2. Structure, on the other hand, offers a more flexible framework. As I explain to my clients, structure is like the framework, the blueprint—it provides the foundation but allows for flexibility within that stability. For instance:
- Ensuring you have three meals and one or two snacks spaced out every four to five hours
- Within that structure, there’s room to adjust based on factors like work schedules, social plans, and hunger cues
The key is finding the right balance between routine and structure. We want our structure to bring about change and growth. Rigid routines that become inflexible can actually be counterproductive, leading to:
- Increased anxiety
- Obsessive thoughts
- Reinforcement of disordered behaviors
3. Rituals are another important piece of the puzzle. These can be either positive or negative:
- Negative rituals are essentially when routines go bad—compulsive behaviors around food and eating that provide a false sense of control
- Positive rituals, like journaling, gratitude practices, and mindful breathing, can actually support self-awareness and self-care
I’ve certainly had my own struggles with rituals over the years. There was a time when I was so rigid about my caffeine intake that it caused major disruptions in my life and relationships. I remember getting incredibly upset if someone bought me the “wrong” kind of caffeinated soda because I was so fixated on maintaining my routine. Looking back, I can see how that rigidity was really a form of control, an attempt to manage my anxiety. It was also a way to manage my physiological dependence to avoid the headaches I would get from caffeine withdrawal.
Through my inner work and self-reflection, I’ve learned to be more gentle and compassionate with myself. I’ve worked on cultivating healthy routines and structures that serve me, rather than control me. And I’ve replaced those negative rituals with positive ones that nourish my mind, body, and spirit.
If you’re navigating these same challenges in your own recovery journey, know that you’re not alone. It’s a delicate balance, for sure. But with patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to adapt, you can find the right rhythm that supports your healing and well-being.
To find more balance in your own recovery journey, try:
- Working with your therapist or dietitian to create a plan that provides the stability of routine and the flexibility of structure
- Surrounding yourself with a support system that can help you identify and address any harmful rituals
- Experimenting with new positive rituals that bring you comfort and joy
- Approaching disruptions to your routine with self-compassion, not self-criticism
Recovery is a dance, as I often tell my clients. It’s about finding that sweet spot between the predictability we crave and the adaptability we need. With guidance, time, and practice, you can master the steps.