Self Test for You
- Do you have a hard time saying no to others, even when you are very busy, financially struggling, or completely exhausted?
- Are you always sacrificing your own needs for everyone else?
- Do you feel more worthy as a human being because you have taken on a helping role?
- If you stopped helping your friends, would you feel guilty or worthless?
- Would you know how to be in a friendship that doesn’t revolve around you being the “helper”?
- If your friends eventually didn’t need your help, would you still be friends with them? Or would you look around for someone else to help?
- Do you feel resentful when others are not grateful enough to you for your efforts at rescuing them or fixing their lives?
- Do you sometimes feel like more of a social worker than a friend in your relationships?
- Do you feel uncomfortable receiving help from other people? Is the role of helping others a much more natural role for you to play in your relationships?
- Does it seem as if many of your friends have particularly chaotic lives, with one crisis after another?
- Did you grow up in a family that had a lot of emotional chaos or addiction problems?
- Are many of your friends addicts, or do they have serious emotional and social problems?
- As you were growing up, did you think it was up to you to keep the family functioning?
- As an adult, is it important for you to be thought of as the “dependable one”?
Here is a list of books and resources about co-dependency and boundaries:
Co-dependent No More by Melanie Beattie
Co-dependent No More Workbook by Melanie Beattie
Co-dependents Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melanie Beattie
The New Codependency by Melanie Beattie
Language of Letting Go by Melanie Beattie
Where to Draw the Line by Anne Katherine, M.A.
Boundaries by Anne Katherine, M.A.
Codependence and the Power of Detachment by Karen Casey
Co-Dependence by Ann Wilson Schaef
Transforming the Co-Dependent Woman by Sandy Bierig