Photo credit: © Klanneke – depositphotos.com
In my experience working with clients and exploring various trauma recovery tools, I’ve come to see recovery as a three-legged stool—a concept that’s both powerful and customizable.
The beauty of this three-legged stool approach is its flexibility. While the core idea remains constant, the three legs can be adjusted and rotated to suit individual needs. For instance, one person’s stool might consist of body awareness, relaxation, and connection, while another might focus on gentle movement, a relaxation practice, and working on boundaries.
I often suggest to my clients that they create lists of ways they can address each aspect of their recovery. These could include methods for connecting with others, engaging in gentle movement, or practicing body awareness. The key is to choose three areas to focus on at any given time, whether it’s for a day, a month, or longer.
What’s fascinating about this approach is how interconnected these elements can be. Spending time with people we like, for example, can evoke similar feelings as relaxation and body awareness. A simple walk where you run into a friend and then sit on a bench for a few minutes could tick three boxes—movement, connection, and relaxation.
It’s important to note that this approach isn’t about achieving perfection. Rather, it’s about working on these areas consistently, recognizing that life tends to run in phases or cycles. There might be times when relationship issues come to the forefront, and that’s when you’d focus on connection while ensuring the other two legs of your stool provide adequate support.
Body awareness is vital
Therapists and clients alike are becoming increasingly aware of how tightly wound we are in our bodies, often without realizing it. This mind-body disconnect is real, and there’s a growing need for mind-body awareness.
Many people avoid tuning into their bodies because they don’t want to confront changes due to aging or injury, or they fear that acknowledging pain will intensify it.
Body awareness is about recognizing what’s happening in our bodies—including aches and injuries—but not letting them dominate our lives or consume us. It’s not an, “Oh, no!” moment, but rather an “Oh…”—a simple recognition of our current state.
We’re not defined by our physical challenges; they’re simply part of our experience. And ignoring these issues often leads us in a less desirable direction, potentially towards unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Reconnecting with our bodies, even when they challenge us, is vital. We can notice what’s happening without judgment. Interestingly, this approach also involves appreciating the absence of pain or discomfort. We’re often quick to label when something hurts, but rarely acknowledge when we feel good. Cultivating this awareness can be a form of gratitude practice, though I prefer to frame it as appreciation to avoid invalidating our struggles.
What legs are on your stool?
Gone are the days when we could simply sit on the front porch relaxing and watch the world go by. Now, we need to actively create these moments of calm and connection, even in the midst of busy lives. Once you set the intention to incorporate these elements into your life, you’ll find yourself naturally weaving them into your daily routine.
Ultimately, this three-legged stool approach to recovery is about creating balance, self-awareness, and resilience. It’s a flexible framework that allows us to adapt to life’s changes while maintaining our focus on overall well-being. By rotating through different combinations of relaxation, body awareness, connection, and other supportive practices, we can create a stable foundation for our ongoing recovery journey.