

Photo credit: © elenathewise – depositphotos.com
As a therapist, I’ve noticed that many clients struggle to “sit with their feelings.” They find it too overwhelming. Over the years, I’ve come up with alternative strategies to help my clients to manage their emotions. I have found that it can help to have a variety of healthy distractions.
The power of being present
A few weeks ago, I was headed to the beach for the first time in a really long time and I told myself, “I’m not bringing my phone. I’m not bringing my Kindle. I’m not even bringing a book or a magazine.” I just wanted to be present. And I enjoyed it so much more that way. It was just amazing to hear the occasional seagull, and kids laughing. The beach is my happy place and I got to really be there. I would have missed the soothing sounds of the ocean waves breaking had I not been present.
I lived on the west coast of Florida for most of the last ten years, and while it was beautiful, the Gulf just doesn’t sound like the ocean.
Riding the wave of emotions
I often use the metaphor of riding a wave or visualizing a bell curve to help clients understand the transient nature of emotions. The feelings start and might increase a little, and you wonder where they’re going. Then they might peak, and that peak could be very overwhelming and even feel unbearable at times.
But if you can get to that peak and picture a bell curve, you can picture riding that out. Then it dissipates again, and you see that a feeling can have a beginning and an end.
Intense feelings, both positive and negative, will eventually fade. As I once heard in a yoga class, “This too shall pass” applies to both yucky and joyous feelings.
Healthy vs. unhealthy distractions
It’s crucial to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy distractions. Food and over-exercising can be handy distractions but may not always be the healthiest choices. Instead, I encourage clients to explore alternatives:
- Creative activities (like doodling or art)
- Connecting with others (making phone calls rather than “doom-scrolling”)
- Mindful observation of your surroundings (like listening to birds chirping
Mindfulness
Mindfulness can be a useful approach—being present in the moment without judgment. If you do find yourself judging, try not to judge yourself for judging. This can help you observe and witness your feelings rather than being consumed by them. Also, you don’t have to stay with a feeling constantly; you can take breaks and come back to it.
What works as a healthy distraction for one person may not work for another. It’s essential to find what’s nourishing and right for you. This could be food if it’s nourishing, or it could be movement if that’s what feels good to you.
Remember, it’s okay to want a distraction from problems or even from life sometimes. The key is finding healthy ways to do so that work for you.