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I’ve been reflecting on aging and recovery lately, partly as I’m co-facilitating a group called “Eating Disorder Recovery in Midlife and Beyond” for the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. Participants in the group start at age forty and continue into the “beyond” category.
I started my own recovery process at forty. In the beginning, I half-joked that it was my midlife crisis—suddenly taking care of myself, putting myself first while balancing the needs of my young children and family dynamics.
Rather than calling it a midlife crisis, I prefer thinking of it as a midlife awakening. Recovery doesn’t look the same for everyone. One area of life might improve tremendously while another remains stagnant. I’ve seen people in recovery become incredibly creative, making art they never created before. It can be like a rebirth where one part of life flourishes while family dynamics might still be challenging.
We can’t control other people—we can only change ourselves and set different boundaries. Sometimes people around us change in response to our changes. That’s wonderful when it happens, but it doesn’t always happen.
Now I’m in the “beyond” category. I can genuinely say recovery is possible, no matter what we’ve put our bodies through. The problems that lead us to recovery aren’t always the same at this stage of life. Often, it’s simply that we’re tired of being tired. We want better relationships, especially with ourselves.
As we age, we may experience multiple types of grief simultaneously—losing friends, family members, or parts of our identity. These griefs come and go; they don’t have to define us. Getting support through difficult times is essential, whether through grief counseling, support groups, therapy, or connecting with loved ones.
Pain is real, and getting appropriate medical care, including physical therapy, is important. This comes from someone who’s had fractures and other health issues. Working on ourselves must be a priority before something forces us to make it one. We all need to do what helps us appreciate ourselves, have compassion for ourselves, and like ourselves.
Aging is something millions fear, as evidenced by the whole anti-aging industry! Our culture might be obsessed with fighting aging, but we can focus on embracing aging and staying healthy in many areas. For me, that might be remaining strong and agile, and for you, it might be something else. Let’s champion aging well—mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually.
The aging conversation is important, yet not enough people talk about it openly. Some express only negative views, saying “I’m getting old, it’s terrible,” with others responding, “It’s better than the alternative.” That typically doesn’t help. Support and groups are where healing happens.
It’s more valuable to validate that aging can involve challenges while looking for solutions together. This can be a really different time of life worth discussing—not negatively or overly positively, but neutrally. This is what’s happening. This is what we’re experiencing.
To facilitate your own midlife awakening, try:
- Journaling, including creating a life timeline focused on your growth process
- Joining groups for open conversations
- Reading fiction that features aging characters
Looking at aging through a spiritual lens can be enlightening too. When there’s an addiction, it becomes almost like a deity you worship. The spiritual dimension adds another recovery layer beyond emotional and mental aspects.
What matters most is acknowledging where we are in our journey of wisdom and finding support to continue growing, healing, and discovering new awakenings at every stage of life.