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We don’t always recognize grief.
Grief doesn’t always show up with tears or profound endings. Sometimes it’s quieter, more like a subtle ache, an edge of irritability, or a wave of tiredness you can’t quite explain.
We’ve been taught to associate grief with tragedy. But grief has many forms, and it often walks alongside change and not just loss. If there has been any kind of shift in your life, your identity, your relationships, or your sense of safety, what you are feeling may be grief.
Sometimes, the loss is beyond a doubt:
- The end of a meaningful relationship
- A major rupture in your personal life
- Something falling apart that you thought would last forever
That is grief. No question. And it deserves to be honored.
Other times, the loss hides inside something that looks like a step forward:
- A child growing up and leaving home
- Retiring from a long-held role
- Choosing to leave something behind that no longer fits—but still mattered
Even joyful transitions can carry the weight of what used to be. We miss the old rhythms, the closeness, the identity we had before life changed.
And sometimes, we’re grieving something that hasn’t happened yet, known as anticipated grief. There is a quiet ache about what feels threatened, uncertain, or like it’s slowly slipping away in our small or large communities, our country, or our world.
You might feel a heaviness when you read the news. You might feel dread or disconnection when you think about the future. You might even feel the fog of grief without any single event to point to.
And that is real, too.
If you’ve noticed yourself feeling emotionally off, low on energy, or just not like yourself lately… Maybe it’s grief.
What grief can look like
Grief isn’t always dramatic. It can be:
- Feeling numb, foggy, or just “off”
- Missing a version of your life that no longer exists
- Feeling unsteady in transitions—even ones you chose
- Wanting to rest, but feeling like you haven’t “earned it”
- Holding quiet sadness about what might be ahead
Grief doesn’t need a headline or permission to be valid. If it feels like a loss to you, it’s real. Your feelings are valid.
What to expect
Grief is not a checklist. It’s not always the five clean stages you may have heard about. It’s nonlinear. Messy. Tender.
You might feel fine one moment and be hit with a wave the next. You might even forget you’re grieving until a song, an aroma, a memory brings it back to the surface. It easily bubbles up when decluttering and going through possessions.
This doesn’t mean something’s wrong or wrong with you. It means you’re human. It means your heart is doing the sacred work of adapting, remembering, and healing.
Support for the process
If you’re carrying grief right now, consider:
- Journaling, alone or with a group, about what you’ve had to let go of, intentionally or not
- Speaking about your experience with someone supportive who can hold it without rushing you
- Creating a simple ritual to honor your transition (like lighting a candle, walking in nature, or writing a letter to yourself or someone else)
- Giving yourself permission to rest without needing to justify why
Most importantly, grief is not weakness; it’s just those memories unfolding. It may even become empowering while in it or through it.
So if you’re not quite yourself lately, honor that.