Living in recovery requires a totally different way of being. As a therapist, I talk about this with clients right from the beginning so they can build resilience and practice the tools they can tap into later. Otherwise, they may not know how to handle it when let’s say, people stop or start commenting on their body size or appearance.
Photo credit: © Dmyrto_Z – depositphotos.com
Ultimately, life in recovery brings the chance to develop kind and compassionate relationships with food, with your body, with yourself, and with others. This can be a time of many new discoveries and for learning about one’s self in very new ways. We are free to engage in creative processes and skills that may have been hidden while being lost in diet culture or the restrict-binge cycle, and body image disturbance.
Here are just four of the exciting things about being in the maintenance stage of recovery:
1. Body appreciation through joyful movement
As our recovery progresses, we’re also aging, and our bodies are changing. This may include new aches and pains, as well as changes to our skin, body shape, and mobility due to injuries or degeneration.
Maintenance is a time to learn to use and appreciate your body in new ways. You may find that you are good at and really enjoy aquatic exercise, different kinds of yoga, pickleball, walking in the woods, or dancing (even if it’s in your kitchen).
2. Greater understanding, empathy, and compassion for others and for yourself
Our relationships—and how we deal with them—can be a contributing factor to an eating disorder because conflicts with people can be challenging to deal with.
In maintenance, we begin to experience a true connection with people as judgment slips away, and we accept that we all inevitably fall short of our expectations at times.
3. Mentorship and giving service
Giving back through sponsorship is a big component of 12-step programs, though mentoring is sometimes hard to imagine when you’re new or still struggling.
In maintenance, we realize that we do have something to give to others and that feels pretty good, whether you do this formally or by just sharing a tidbit that you may or may not be aware of that changes someone’s life for the better. (I often hear clients quote someone random in their past’s words of wisdom that were shared with them.)
4. Feeling your feelings (instead of stuffing them down with unwanted behaviors)
When you’re dealing with an eating disorder or other mental health challenges, it’s tempting to stuff down your feelings with behaviors like binge eating, restricting, or compulsive shopping—we either feel unequipped or unwilling to process our difficult emotions.
In maintenance, we can celebrate how wonderful it is to identify our feelings and experience a deeper level of sensory perception than we’d ever thought possible. This is often surprising and sometimes uncomfortable or even miserable. It will get better. If you’re struggling, I’m here for you and happy to help.
Recovery or recovered?
Some people use the expression that they’ve recovered from their eating disorder, but my preference is the term “in recovery.” Think of it like keeping a fire stoked in the fireplace. Some days, you’ll have to do more than others, but it’s about taking continuous action, staying mindful, and keeping vigilant. Maintenance won’t look the same for any two people, but no matter what, it won’t be boring!