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Jon Kabat-Zinn is credited for bringing mindfulness into the mainstream of medicine and society. In fact, it’s become somewhat of a cure-all for multiple conditions and issues in the body, in relationships, and with our emotions and thoughts.
Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as, “Paying attention to something, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”
So many people in active eating disorder hide the truth from themselves and others about what they’re doing with food, to the point where they zone out and aren’t even aware themselves.
That makes mealtime one of the best places to start practicing mindfulness – being present with what you’re eating so you don’t miss that experience. For many people recovering from eating disorders, conscious eating or mindful eating is very helpful.
The goal of mindfulness is to get into the present moment and stay there. Once you witness what is happening, pause, notice what’s arising as it’s coming up, paying attention to thoughts and feelings. Be aware of it all, without trying to change anything.
A key part of mindfulness is remembering not to judge the moment, or judge your own judgment if it does happen. Just bring your attention back to whatever you’re doing. After noticing something and dismissing it without judgment, then you’re able to let it go.
Mindfulness is a perspective of awareness, noticing and witnessing. Witnessing thoughts, feelings, body sensations, physical surroundings, while dismissing any distractions. We may as well notice those distractions rather than fighting them so hard, e.g., “Oh my, I can’t believe that guy is mowing the lawn now.” As soon as you notice it, e.g., “There is the sound of a lawn mower,” it’s almost as if it goes away.
Even if all we grasp from being in the present is having a moment without judgment, that is worth a lot right there. It incorporates self-acceptance and surrender to life as it is, rather than how you may want it to be.
Mindfulness training often starts with breathing, and creating a practice around breath (you can see The Breathing Book by Donna Farhi for different techniques). Yoga teachers and therapists alike will include breathing exercises in their work because they are so helpful for anxiety, depression, or traits of either of those.
Staying out of the past and the future
The opposite of being mindful to the present moment is being focused on the past or the future. When we dwell in the past – going over things that have already happened, whether favorably or not, it keeps us from moving forward.
Even if you’re celebrating a big accomplishment, or reflecting on a really positive relationship, thinking too much about the past keeps us stuck. Instead, we can acknowledge it, be with it, make friends with it, deal with it, and then let it go.
Therapy is one way to get past the past. The 12-step approach is another really powerful set of tools for dealing with the past – embracing that it was part of our story, and that’s it – no more and no less.
Some say depression is about the past, anxiety is about the future. When our minds are trapped in the future, we’re worrying about it, trying to predict what will happen, by working through different scenarios in our minds.
Doing this can make us feel hopeful – and of course a certain amount of planning is crucial for recovery – but too much future thinking can easily consume us to the point where we completely miss the present.
Obsessing about the future puts us squarely into fear. Rarely does worrying actually productively prepare you or make the outcome better. There’s not a whole lot we can do to guarantee a future outcome. There’s planning, and maybe making arrangements, but then we have to let go and accept what actually happens.
Sometimes it’s helpful to get out of our heads by talking to people, sometimes it’s through journaling, sometimes it’s just letting things unfold and be what they’re going to be.
Letting go takes faith, which is different than believing. Let’s say you need to have your car fixed. Your friend tells you a mechanic is really great, so you take your car there, acting on faith. You have faith because of what your friend told you, not firsthand knowledge. Things work out well with the car, and THEN you start believing, because you’ve actually witnessed it yourself.
The more positive experiences you have where you took a leap of faith, the easier it will be the next time. 12-step groups and therapy groups are so helpful for this. You hear about other people’s experiences and what they’ve come to believe based on their own leaps of faith.
It takes conscious effort to let go of the past and the future and be in the present moment, but that is where you’ll find the self-acceptance and awareness to grow in your recovery. The gift truly is in the present.